Tit for Tat…

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Tit for tat…seems to be intrinsic to society. It appears to have been with us for eternity. For an Aspie, tit for tat is a mystery. An Aspie wants you to say, “now you do this for me, and I’ll do that in return…” They want to know clearly what you are talking about. No innuendo’s or double guessing for them. They feel no need to disguise what they are doing. Ever wonder why an Aspie appears rude and abrupt?

One year, our neighbor bought a bull for $30 000.00. I was astounded. He was a farmer, just like me. How on earth could he afford to buy a bull for that price? What if the stupid thing dropped dead, or came off second best in an argument with another bull?

It was years before I realized, you only need to buy one bull from another guy, who buys a bull from you. If you all buy bulls for $30 000.00 from each other, then you might as well all be buying them for $3000.00. Except of course, you wouldn’t have idiots like me come along, buy your semen and think we are so clever for getting the best.

Then I realized it was the same as a *like* or a *follow* on my blog. You like me, I like you. You follow me, I follow you.

Imagine my disappointment when I looked through my followers and asked myself who was buying bulls and who really wanted to receive my posts.

Just like I bought $3000.00 bulls, I only *like* posts I really like and I only comment on one I think I am qualified to say something about, or want to say something about.

Guess that’s why my neighbor did so well – he had far better business sense!

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14 responses »

    • Its like that – a total lack of understanding until one day Whham – you meet someone and you find those issues don’t enter the equation, and there is no stress…you lay it on the line…you sit there, tapping your hand on the table, staring across at him, wanting to know… and he says “OK” It’s like coming home…

  1. Excellent post. I’m inclined to agree with the like and follow until one finds one’s audience. Even then it has to add up. Liking and nothing else strikes me as meaningless however.

    • I agree about finding your audience, but not about the *like*
      I think I should *like* an article if I like it. I don’t always have a reason that I like it, though. Or have anything meaningful to say…I will run the risk of buying a bull if I comment for the sake of it! You think I should say “great post” is that not the same as a *like*

      • Let us assume that no one knows whether you liked it or not, what then? My argument with a comment is, especially if you are a blogger, perchance something resonates with someone. Consequently they click on your avatar and now you have a visitor which you hadn’t before.

      • True…you mean then I would be the one trying to sell the bull to a non bull breeder for 30K!!
        Now, seriously…Yes, this has happened but perhaps only with a particular type of answer – I imagine readers are very discerning with their spare time..You would need to make sure your comment is worthwhile…
        PS I have no idea how these avatars work…I never seem to get to the person’s blog???I only get to their picture and blurb
        Also, I am always reluctant to post a link to say, my book on someones blog, I feel its rude? Maybe Im too sensitive

      • You don’t want to get them to buy your book, you want to get them to visit, then the two go hand in hand. Where do you get to if you click on my avatar here?

      • I clicked on your pic…it opened in another page. Yours has your blog, but I’m not sure if mine does. Other people I have tried to “investigate” have only had their pic, no website or blog

      • Perchance they don’t have one and yours does not show your blog but does ask one to sign in at WordPress. Perhaps you need to redo your avatar? Long time since I was last there though.

  2. Am I the odd one out? I neither buy or sell bulls but do enjoy reading. However, I do agree that this whole ‘like’ thing can get a bit sycophantic. Should bloggers/writers just be satisfied that someone has maybe read their output or are they all needy and looking for more positive confirmation of their worth?
    I like to make comparisons between ‘now’ and BSM (before social media) – In 1970 a diarist/author would write something and send it out into the unknown and would then, maybe receive some critical review, maybe, and in the main from professional reviewers. Now, anyone and everyone can get ‘into print’ and many expect instant gratification (likes, comments) – we live in an instant world!
    I read a broad cross-section of blogs from about 20 bloggers – some are personal and some are business blogs. I rarely comment or ‘like’, rather enjoy or not, just like reading a book/magazine BSM. Of all the blogs I read http://wheniwasawhenwe.wordpress.com/ always seems to hit the spot (I am not advertising for him, if you like Frankie I will remove this link) – the reason is that he makes me laugh and his subject matter resonates and hits the right chords.
    Sorry to waffle on 🙂

    • I think Abo is hilarious, I have not laughed so hard for so long the first time I bumped into his blog…I read the one about making a horse jumping event out of the garden furniture and since we did that as kids, I could relate. I wish wish wish, I could write funny – but I can’t…
      It was actually from reading his blog that I had the cojonne to write one myself. (Except I argued with him about the F word – and put mine all on one page!) As I have said on my blog, my English was terrible at school and when I tell a story, its better in the flesh…but I am using my blog to practice.
      I’m flattered, since you don’t buy bulls, that you wrote a comment on this one…I also rarely comment unless I have something (positive) to say and of course if I intend to get follow through with an argument!
      With regard the writing and self publishing – while I think its a great thing…self publishing…some of it is very badly written and my book, which I took enormous trouble editing, is shoved along with some that look as if they weren’t even read over once.
      Comments are a tricky thing, and I’m still holding back mostly. I’ll give an example – I belong to a blog of an American, who writes about his childhood. One of his stories was good, the idea was excellent, and he tried very hard, I could tell. He mangled it..(In my opinion) disrupted the flow by the use of PC words such as co-worker (yet we could all work out she is a woman) and the repetition of his punch line. Understand this is my opinion – perhaps another person would have been unhappy with the use of woman…should I write a comment? With my opinion? If someone wrote to me and told me that, would I heed? Get upset? (A woman told me I wrote filth, and for 3 months, I didnt write a word – but then I’m a woman, and you know what we are like!)
      As I said in one of my posts, I’m still confused about this whole social media thing and I’ve just decided to hold back, watch, read and learn. And I wont buy bulls. I told my family and friends I don’t want them going to Amazon and Smashwords and writing fake reviews about my books (unless they liked it of course!)
      So we are at the point in our printed word explosion, of deciding how we separate the chaff…and its a difficult one. I do *like* if I liked it. Not if I don’t. I do *like* if I thought it well written, even if I don’t agree with the content. I too read, although less than before I began to write! Abo’s was one of the first blog posts I read and I admit that after I *followed* his, I followed a bull buyer….and I was confused. Flattered at first, then confused. Then I learned how the whole thing works and now I only follow those I am interested in, and its surprising how diverse and opposite ends of the spectrum they are.
      I think I’m waffling now too – perhaps its the small size of this *reply to comment* window I have here – I find I cant properly see what I have already said…well, I live and learn hey!

  3. Took me ages to figure this one out. I will comment if I have something to add to a post, or if I really think something is funny/ beautiful/ amazing. But like is good too, means you have seen and appreciated the post. If I don’t like something, I say nothing. Comes to the same, in my view, as saying thanks, or I agree. So, if you get that from me, you know what I mean!! D x

    • I didn’t figure it out when I was farming!
      I’m in two minds about the comments on posts you don’t like. I too don’t comment if I don’t like a post, mostly because I really struggle when people say they don’t like my writing. I feel like I do when people critisise my children. However, there are some people who I don’t mind…a lady in the UK does, and always interesting thought provoking comments. She is straight – told me once she thought a piece was beyond fixing. When I re wrote it, she wrote back raving about how well it had come out…Recently I read that you should only take to heart criticism from people you respect. They meant in respect to books, but I suppose blog posts are much the same.
      Of course, there are some people who can say things that others never could, and she insists on sending me emails, not writing on my blog. She says it will wreck it to have criticism all over – although I wouldn’t mind!

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