Don’t you luv um…

If things were left up to women, we would all still be living in caves and using little bundles of grass as brooms. There would be no hoovers, no polishers, toasters. There would be no baby strollers, fridges or we-vibes.
Women don’t like change.
Men, bless their souls, are always looking for an easier or better way of doing things. They can never simply take a bundle of grass and sweep with it. No, they have to try with a bundle of sticks or suck up mess through a reed or stick a cloth on the end of a stick or something.
In the late ’90’s the farm employed about 80 people, thirty or so permanent. Things were no longer simple, you couldn’t just hand out money at the end of the month. I had to deduct pension, PAYE, Workman’s Compensation…I had cattle reportablility forms to complete, statistics forms, standards development levie returns, not to worry about our tax accounts.
All had to be completed by different days of the month, submitted on time blah de blah., or we would get a fine. It all took up alot of time and I often did it wrong anyway and it was sent back for me to re-do.
One evening, Cush, back from working very hard, sat watching me do the wages and kindly asked if he could help. I couldn’t think of anything much, so I ask him if he would take the wages schedule and copy the info (guy’s name, deductions etc.) onto the brown envelopes.
After about packet number thirty he says, “Hey man, this is a pain. This is boring. Surely there is a better way of doing this.”
I say, “Ya maybe, but for right now, just write the info on the envelope, OK. I need to get these out tonight.”
He grumps and moans his way through all eighty of them, while I print out the schedules, count the money etc.
“So do you do this every month?” he asks me. After all, the last time he did the wages we had about twelve packets and no forms to fill out. He had a ledger with the gross wage, squelet and total next to each name.
“Get a load of this,” I say and show him the forms, heaps and heaps of them. Booklets for NSSA, cattle traceability tag reports…Schedules of lodging dates, schedules of fines if not lodged timeously…

“Mmmm,” he says, “Theres got to be a better way to do this…”

SO…, he sat down for the next two weeks writing a computer program which did it all for me…when he’d finished, the hardest thing for me to do was to cut the little pay slips and staple them on to the brown envelopes.

AND… all I had to do in return, was to sweep the floor with one of those short little grass broom things….


..Thanks for reading – please have a look at my book Silk Threads. You can download it here:



About frankiekay

I'm an author from Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. I've written a novel, Silk Threads and a few short stories. Although Frankie is a pen name, she is the me who never grew up, the crazy kid who spoke to animals, talked to the wildflowers and asked awkward questions...I love: music, the silence..., distant horizons. I hate: crowds and spending money

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